Cryptogram Czar

Ironic Predictions - Startups and Markets

Someone just tell you that your idea won't work? Someone just tell you nobody will ever buy your product? An investor just turn you down?

Fantastic, you're in great company!

Here's a collection of early predictions about market beating products, uttered before they went on to win. These ironic quotes were uttered by investors, competitors, reporters, and even a few consultants.

To make things fun, we turned each of them into a cryptogram puzzle, with a couple of clues (who said it, a hint about the topic). Unscramble the puzzle to see the quote!

Traditional Business

Nice idea but it won't scale... (into a $50B Logistics Company)

We've done the research and your product won't sell (in 400 stores nationwide)

Our Products Are Awesome and There's Zero Chance of A Government Bailout

Look, buddy, I know what a $10B industry looks like and this will never be one...

No, seriously, I wouldn't operate there even on condemned criminals

Communications & Publishing

We have a monopoly on communications and your product is full of bugs.

Cute idea but nobody would ever pay for it ($20B market)

Consumers are too busy and impatient for this ($80 B) media channel to work.

Fifteen years later, the magazine that wrote this stopped publishing a paper edition.

Computing

The Typing Pool is Safe

Cheapest Opportunity Ever To Own Apple

Our market share for buggy whips is totally secure (thank god there's a nostalgia market here).

This Technology Has Reached It's Potential

Look, we control this platform, just like we controlled our last one.

Please send all feedback, complaints, and lucrative sponsorship deals to czar@icryptograms.com. This Website is copyright © 2016 Cryptogram Czar. All Rights Reserved. We like cookies and use them on the site, per our Privacy Policy.